NFTH: May 4, 2020

From the Head of School

Dear Saint Mary's Hall Community,

What a powerfully emotional day Friday was for many of us. 

We opened our campus to allow Upper School students the opportunity to retrieve the contents of their academic lockers.  We continue  to strategize about plans for retrieval of personal items for Middle and Lower School students, and for athletics and fine arts items. I am very grateful for Director of Facilities and Security Dom Smith, and his Maintenance team for boxing up contents of all Upper School student academic lockers, and coming up with an orderly and safe way to distribute the boxes. Please see the slide show (below on the right) and short video which gives you a wonderful glimpse into this operation.  There's a good reason that the Maintenance team is known as "The Heroes" around Saint Mary's Hall!

The ability to enter our campus after an eight-week absence was emotional for so many of us.  This Form 12 parent summed it up best when she shared:

It was so nice to see your kind, smiling face. I’m sorry I didn’t stop (because I know that’s against the rules). But seeing you there was symbolic. The end of your time at SMH must also feel bittersweet for you. As much as the senior families are hurting, I know your heart and mind must be full of a lot of those same raw emotions. Although I’m sorry this school year is ending this way, I hope eventually we will celebrate together. Even if it’s this time next year. I had a good cry on the way home. I thought about all the times we’ve dropped off and picked up my daughter or attended an event. Or all the times we waved to smiling faces in the parking lot or circle. Never thought this is how May 2020 on campus would feel. But it only feels so sad because it was so beautiful. That’s a good thing, right? I guess it’s true what they say ... That it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. She loved her four years at SMH and will always cherish the friendships formed.

All my best to the lovely staff who worked so hard to gather everything for our students. To you, sincere thanks for standing outside today and offering your smile to all of us who were crying.”

We look forward to welcoming you all back to campus sometime in the near future.  Reunion will be so sweet.

Be well.

Sincerely,

Jonathan Eades
Head of School

All-School

Chapel Corner

Healthy at the Hall

Dear Saint Mary’s Hall,

Today is May 4 and we are 2/3 of the way into the most unusual spring quarter in recent memory. Many of us have been juggling our identities every moment of each day for the last six weeks between parenting, teaching, and working (to name a few!). This week’s message is an expanded variation on hope by normalizing and validating your experiences as parents during the COVID – 19 crisis. I only encourage others to cope with practices that I use in my life. These four articles have been incredibly helpful in helping me balance all of my responsibilities and I hope they help you, too. We are always a work in progress.

The first article is titled, It Was Just Too Much’: How Remote Learning Is Breaking Parents, published by the New York Times. In the article, they describe, “For the adults in the house, trying to do their own jobs while helping children with classwork has become one of the most trying aspects of the pandemic.” While I do not feel broken, there are times that have certainly been harder than others. I felt reassured when I read the following quote, “Are your kids killing each other, or have you killed your child?” said Kathryn Hirsh-Pasek, an education researcher and a senior fellow at The Brookings Institution. “Is there anything they’re eating that resembles healthy food in between the chocolate and sugar? If the answer is yes, give yourself a break.”

The second article is titled, It’s Okay to Be a Different Kind of Parent During the Pandemic, published by The Atlantic. It’s written by a woman who suffered the tragic loss of her husband while she had a toddler and was six-months pregnant with their second child. She offers parents who are coping during the coronavirus with sage advice and wisdom acquired amidst her own crisis. Noteworthy quotes include, “When something outside your control changes your life, it’s what you do with what you can control that really shapes your children.” She describes how, “Crises can teach you a lot about your capabilities.” It seems that the main point is, “Practice makes slightly better over time. It’s no ‘practice makes perfect,’ but perfect is not what you’re after. You’re not instantly going to be an expert homeschooling mom or dad who also works a full-time job, nor should you try. Once you’ve decided what kind of mom or dad you are, do something small every day to put that identity into practice."

The third article is titled, How to Stop Feeling So Helpless During Quarantine, published by the Greater Good Science Center. The main focus of this article is that, “Research suggests some ways to find a sense of control when you're feeling helpless.” The author encourages readers to remember: “Feeling a little out of control right now is normal, particularly if you’re facing physical limitations or financial strain. To regulate your emotions around coronavirus in a healthy way, you can try strategies like:

• Finding Silver Linings
• Gaining Perspective on Negative Events
• Letting Go of Anger Through Compassion
• Self-Compassion Break

Even when events and outcomes are out of our hands, we can still exert some influence over our emotional lives with these techniques.” 

The fourth article is titled, Strategies for Supporting Learning at Home, and is simply a collection of developmentally appropriate ways to help your child continue to learn during distance learning published by the Child Mind Institute. I found it to be a helpful reminder of the practices I can put into place to facilitate learning. 

Please remember that the Saint Mary’s Hall Wellness Team is here to support you and let us know how we can help you and your family.

Wishing you wellness,

Sandra L. Lopez-Morales, Ph.D.
Director of Wellness